How to stop negative thoughts from spiraling

When faced with a challenge, I often expect the worst. I go from 0 to 1000 and make mountains out of molehills. Turns out, there’s a name for this: catastrophising. The fact that there is a word for this means that I am not the only one who does it, which is a very comforting feeling to know that what I experience is recognised and that I'm not 'just a bit weird'.

Two things happen when people catastrophise:

1. we predict the worst possible outcome;

2. we assume that if this outcome transpires, we won’t be able to cope and it will be an absolute disaster.

We’ll fret over an exam, assuming that we will fail horribly and subsequently end up broke and destitute. We'll think that because our partner says they are tired, they actually just don't want to hang out with us and that means they want to break up and that means they will not longer be in our lives, some of us have a little sniffle and end up thinking we have a deadly disease (That said, if your new cold doesn't go away, get to your doctors).

The problem isn’t so much the catastrophic thoughts themselves, but the fact that we tend to buy into them. We believe our own stories, and we forget that there is no actual threat present. In other words, we create our own suffering through convincing ourselves that our own irrational thoughts are true.

The good news

There are ways we can break out of this pattern of doom and gloom, and let go of our worst expectations. Next time you find yourself catastrophizing, try the following:

1. Recognise that you, my friend, are a catastrophiser

The first step is becoming aware of your own thought patterns. Take it a step further and write down your worries throughout the day in your phone notes. Both of these activities allow you to step back and observe your own thoughts, rather than actively engaging with them. Eventually, you’ll see your worst-case scenarios for what they are: just thoughts, nothing more.

2. Ask questions

When you catch yourself predicting a terrible outcome, stop and ask yourself: “Is this something that I know to be true today? Is this outcome truly a catastrophe, or is it just unpleasant? What other possible outcomes are there? Are any of them positive?” Sometimes, it is also worth asking ourselves whether the thoughts are irrational. Instead of taking your thoughts as fact, focus on where they are rational or irrational.

3. Have faith in your ability to deal with negative situations

OK, so what if that situation that you have catastrophised does happen? How would you react and what you would do to make the outcome more positive. Reflect on past experience as well: how did you overcome past hardships? You’ll likely find comfort in knowing that you can, in fact, get through difficult times.

4. Be kind to yourself

In order to better deal catastophising, we need to be kind to ourselves. Thinking the worst is about to happen is something we all do from time to time. We won’t stop catastrophizing overnight—it is a process that can take place over a lifetime.

Our apocalyptic visions of what an outcome might be if often irrational and does not take things a face value, making us fearful when there is nothing to fear. Sometimes a molehill is really just a molehill. And that is important to remember in the moment, but often, is the hardest thing to do.

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YouTube Video for the audio

Sources:

Headspace

Bustle.com